Right now I feel like the whale falling to the ground in 'the Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy.' Oooo, look at that, its so big and round, it should have a name... oouuuwww... ooound Ground! Yeah! I wonder if it wants to be friends with me.'
After my first experiences of Zen Meditation, I went home on a VERY high note. I felt free from the previous trifles of the week, and I had this sense that I was starting on a path that would, to go all Star Wars on ya for a second, would forever shape my destiny. Over the weekend I did my best to try and 'sit' as Sensei had suggested. At first I tried this in my computer chair... too comfy and small confession, I fell asleep. So next I grabbed several of the smaller pillows from my couch and I sat on the floor. I did my best to maintain focus, but I will be very honest, it was exceedingly difficult to maintain focus for me outside the context of the dojo. I am sticking to the idea that at least I am trying to sit daily. All things in their own time right? The weekend passed very quickly since I was busy with work. Monday rolled around... Orthodox Jewish High School play... FUN!!! YAY!!! (Please noted the dripping sound in the background, yeah THAT, that's called sarcasm, it gets gooey like gaff tape goo in the hot summer sun). Luckily we were out of rehearsals very early and I quickly found myself at home sitting at my desk wondering what I was going to do with my evening since I had it available... *DING* Lets see what classes are scheduled at Shinjinkai.
Monday: 5:45 - 6:45 Aikido
7:00 - 8:00 Aikido
8:00 - 9:15 Iaido: Mugai Ryu
OOOooo!!! Double Aikido and then I can sit and watch the Iaido class since that is something I have always wanted to study. What a great introduction to my studies. I'll probably be beat by the end, but it'll be worth it. I called Sensei quickly just to make sure I could come to Aikido since at this point I was still not technically a member of Shinjinkai. When I spoke with Sensei Meido, he asked me if I had any feelings about my time on Friday. I relayed very briefly my reflections of my time and that I was excited to maybe come take an Aikido class since that is the main focus of the school. He invited me to come to either of the classes I wished. And then he asked me if I had any time to 'sit' since I was last in the dojo. I admitted I tried valiantly but was having trouble. He just laughed and said, 'I'll see you tonight.'
I decided then I needed some workout clothes so I dropped over to Target right quick and got something suitable for movement. After doing a quick load of laundry, it was time to make my way to the dojo. I hopped the Red Line down to Belmont, Transferred to the Brown heading to Addison and walked my way to the dojo.
When I entered the space I was greeted by several semi-familiar faces that I had seen at the Meditation as well as a plethora of new faces, all very welcoming. Sensei Meido greeted me, shook my hand and invited me to join the other student on the mats. Now here comes a small point... I am not sure again if my observations were accurate, but it seems the people sat themselves according to relative rank. The most senior students were on the far right side of the mat and there was a nice open spot ALL the way to the left end. At this point I had a brief moment of clarity or revelation or... well I don't wholly know what... I just saw my position in the class, realized that I was now the low man on the totem pole. Its a sobering thought to realize one is at the beginning or the bottom once again. I have a long difficult path ahead and one day I desire to be able to rightfully sit further to the right. Again, I have no idea if this is actually the case, but later on I did find a bit of evidence that I was correct in this. As I moved to my position Sensei stopped me and asked me...'So have you been sitting at home?' 'Yessir, I have... well at least have been trying to.' 'uuuh huh, and how's that been going for you?' 'Well... its been rough, I have been trying to dedicate my fifteen minutes a day, but it seems a struggle currently.' 'Well, you know, I tell people fifteen minutes so they'll actually do it, if I tell them 30 minutes somehow it never gets done. So you SHOULD do more if you can.' and he pointed gently to my spot on the mat... so I went.
One thing that is consistently amazing me is the level of discipline of all the students. Everyone was on the mat kneeling well before class started. All very precise with their knees exactly on the prescribed line. All focused at the far wall or with their eyes closed seeming to do breathing exercises.
At the exact moment class was to begin, a senior student move quickly but with a definite deference to the far side of the dojo. There is something going on there that I still have no concept of. The woman who hopped up began to take us through warm-ups. I have to say things moved so fast it was all a blur. What I DID pickup was some VERY familiar exercises... In fact... I think I now understand Chuck's routine far more than I ever did before. If you have ever studied with the man, you know basically the Aikido warmups with Coyle flair.(I hear clearly,'Why do we do this? Because it feels so good when we stop.) Cool, then I am not THAT far behind, maybe I will know more about this than I thought... WRONG!!!!
After warm-ups, Sensei stepped onto the mat. 'Good evening, I am glad to see everyone. We have a new student. This is Dustin. Say Hello. Make him feel welcome and teach him.'
At this point ... I really really really was doing everything I can to NOT draw attention to myself. *sigh* Well... I guess tonight I am the Pink Elephant in the room. Again things happened far too quickly for me to really recount everything. What I do remember is Sensei first thing after we all stood calling over Giatta (I think), a VERY beautiful eastern European woman. Blonde hair, blue eyes, definite Russianesque accent. 'Instruct him how to fall. He has experience so this should be easy for him.' Again, I really am doing everything in my power to not draw attention to myself or my previous training. I am sort of at a point I want to start fresh, a clean slate or canvas on which to paint my new picture... although in some techniques even so soon in, I am noticing that my previous training is a boon and handicap all at the same time. I say this because many of the movements are familiar to me, but Aikido seems to focus on economy of movement and efficiency of energy. Having a concept of how to move across and step into the enemy is working well... my pension for wanting to use my brute force (I am the brute squad) is leading to me finding myself in awkward positions or misstepping... or my muscle memory is trying to change the technique to the Kenpo version that is more direct and use my strength... Boon and Curse.
Back to class... Giatta asked if I knew how to fall... I did to a point. Step back, kneel one knee, sit down butt, roll back onto muscles in back, slap out on the mat, lift legs, brings legs down, roll back up to butt, knee, standing... repeat. and repeat. and repeat. and repeat. and repeat. Up down up down up down... like a bi-polar person off their meds I was up and down, up and down... Suddenly it dawned on me... I can't freaking breathe... *sigh* The thought through my head... 'D' you're fat, lazy, and out of shape... but that's why we're here right? And fall... and fall... HUFF HUFF WHEEZE. 'Do you need a break, you can sit down if you want to.' Nope! I don't believe in it, but thank you.
After falling a number of times that can only described in irrational numbers like the number of digits in PI or the number i or e... I suddenly had a new teacher without even realizing what had happened. This time a very slender man, several inches shorter than I was teaching me. This was the same person that led the meditations the Friday before... I wish now I could remember his name. We were working on two techniques simultaniously. Sadly, I couldn't tell you the name of the technique. I do know that both techniques are meant to defend from an incoming punch to the stomach. Version one, simply redirect the punch ever so slightly as you step out of line, push your hand under then chin while stepping in. This pushes the opponent back and off balance. The second version, redirect the punch and step in as before but grasp the offending hand while stepping in and change direction pulling the opponent 90 degrees around and then some other movements that summarily twist your opponent in an uncomfortable position. My Kenpo self was then itching to kick to the head or break a bone or something...
As I worked these techniques I began to try and intellectualize. I asked if this was supposed to be more of a hip toss...etc. The only response, lets just do the technique for now. After having several punches directed at me and messing up the technique several time it was my turn to punch...
I was asked to do the same movement without the full technique ... Errrr???? Sempi grabbed my fist and placed it on his belly. 'You have to enter my space...otherwise it doesn't work' ???? Then suddenly it was like I got struck by lighting... I am throwing fraking stage combat punches. Off line... sure not to hurt anyone. HA!!! I redirected my next punch, perfectly on line with his solar plexus and... FLASH OF LIGHT THROUGH MY BRAIN!!!! I somehow was on my back.... again. (Enter Jakes voice here...D, you ignorant slut, when you're on your back the meter's running.)
This punishment seemed to go on for an eternity... I did have a minor moment of revelatio though through the haze of endorphins, sweat, and vertigo. There came a moment went things went slightly hazy while i was working the two basic techniques. When i went into soft focus and I began to react more instinctually, suddenly the technique made perfect sense and I was easy able to combine the steps into a fluid motion. This is something I must ponder more. I wonder if it is like acting where they are always saying.. Get out of your head, or maybe like dance? I know often I have observed dancers 'stuck in thier head' where the movements while not bad or wrong, seem slightly jerky or less fluid... and then i have also seen dancer get out of thier had after struggling and turning a jerky set of steps into a beauitful movement through time and space. Am I getting in my own way?
Just as suddenly as it had begun... class was over. We bowed, walked off the mat... as I was leaving the mat to towel off Sensei says to me,'Some of our newer members experience some slight discomfort, enjoy that tomorrow. It's our gift to you.' I laughed... I also didn't realize precisely what he meant by '''''discomfort'''''.
Sensei also then invited me to come sit at his desk and speak with him for a moment. 'How did it go?,' he asks. Well, it was tough. I have ALOT of work to do, but it feels good to move again. He smiled. For a few moments we talk about random topics, he asked what I do for a living. I told him I am lighting designer. He smiled, oh I have another lighting guy here... RICH come here for a second. From the mat comes a slender man. Rich this is Dustin he does lights too, you two should talk some. Who am I to question Sensei? So we had a brief intro but I felt awful as I was keeping him from the second class. I asked Sensei, what's next? I signed my agreement... and now I am officially a member of Shinjinkai. Is it wrong that I am so excited to go have the snot beat out of me several times a week?
See now comes the point where people might ask, so 'D' did you stay for all three classes?... Well... No. I decided that discretion was the better part of valor and opted to go rest my muscles. to be honest, I was so light headed and a little woozey that I think a second round would have made me pass out. Now... I again had a brief moment of discovery. Walking up the stairs to the 'L' was... well... a challenge. My legs didn't want to move. Sitting, then getting back up to get off the train... all... very interesting, even challenging. And ya know what, I felt freaking amazing and I slept like the dead.
So that was my second adventure to Shinjinkai. I find myself looking on that first full day of Aikido as an experience I will remember forever. Now to take a moment for reflection... What did I learn?
Well, I learned that in AIkido you spend a fair amount of time on your back, on the ground, or being twisted into a very uncomfortable position. When I stop thinking about it I do techniques much more efficiently. I also learned Sensei has a subtle and sick sense of humor. I also realized in full how far I have let myself go the past number of years. This is something I need to change... No. This is something I AM changing. At the moment, I am trying (with moderate success) to follow Sensei instructions and suggestion about meditating daily and also changing my diet to a more vegetarian intake. One step at a time. A wolf that doesn't eat meat? That just doesn't seem right. Oh I also realized...'discomfort' that word he keeps saying it, I do not think it means what Sensei thinks it means.
All in all... Day two was a good day.
OPAHEY!!!!
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