Day 9: Back to Basics (and 'D' gets shived)

So i come to this post tonight in an interesting place.  I know this is a word I use often as I truly mean it.  Interesting can be good, it can be bad, but it is still none-the-less 'interesting'.  I always think back to the old Chinese(I think)proverb, 'May you live in interesting times.'  The past couple weeks I have been finding myself struggling again.  I have been plagued the past number of nights with very strange dreams, very intense, struggling to overcome bad habits and my aptitude for slipping back into old ways of thinking and living.  I think right now with the place I find myself my training is going to be growing in importance to my life and well-being  moving to the future.  I don't know what I am going to do when I head to Colorado.  My choices for martial training are VERY limited in Steamboat and the closest Aikido dojo is in Boulder which is 2+ hours away... Ultimately I will tackled that issue as I get to it.

This Wednesday started much as many others do.  I had the day off from work and spent much of the day answering emails, making work calls, played a game or two, tried to eat healthy, washed my gi and generally focused on the self-descipline I have imposed upon myself for the week. On Wednesday class for me starts at 7:00.  I leave the house at 6:00 to try and make it early so I have time to change, meditate a few moments, and generally gear myself up for class.  The week in gerenal has been quite interesting in class as everyone is bustling with anticipation as this weekend is rank testing.  At Shinjinkai, testing comes only three or four times a year. So it is important for one to be prepared if they wish to test... I will be the first to admit.  I am NOWHERE NEAR ready to test.  This is okay.  To be honest, I am not really as concerned about rank as I have been in the past.  Each of the dojos I have been to in the past I have tried to burn through the first rank ASAP as they only would allow students to start weapons training and sparring after yellow belt.  In this regard, Aikido is different.  Here you test with weapons the first time out and from what I can tell there is no real 'sparring' to speak of.  The first rank weapons are very simple in some regards.  From what I gather you only are tested with sword for the first Kyu.  I will get more into details a little later as they figure into class.  

So I left the house at 6:00 for a 7:00 class.  By all rights this should leave me 20 minutes plus to change, stretch, etc... Well... the CTA had other ideas for me.  There was a recent post on Facebook about the CTA being a sort of pseudo-horoscope for some people.  If this was a true asessment... today would have been an AWFUL day for me in the dojo.  Anyhow, I arrived at the dojo a bit later than I wanted to... actually late enough that I missed the first portion of warmup and found myself waiting at the edge of the mat to be allowed to enter class.  Ultimately, I don't think it a huge deal, but I HATE being late.  When a student is late for class they are to sit in Seiza off the mat to be invited by the current instructor.  Luckily it was a senior student leading warmups.  I waited, Kris(I think) folded hands and bowed to let me on to the mat. I quickly went to an open spot and fell into warm-ups.  The good part is... warm-ups get a little easier each class I attend.  First entered Enmei Sensei then was followed by Moore Sensei.  Moore Sensei started class by reminding everyone that it is testing week and if we intended to test we should know if we were going to pass or not by Friday.  He also invited everyone to ask as many questions as they liked as this entire week would be far less formal structure to allow people to prepare for testing.  He reminded us that we are always encouraged to ask questions but this week not to stand so much on formality as is usually required in classes.  After that The class was divided into two specific groups.  Those who have tested before and those who have not.  I have to say, it way slightly gratifying to be part of 6 people who have not tested before.  We are all hopefuls to achieve Gokyu (this is funny to me as a theatre person) or 5th Kyu.  (Aikido structure is 5 kyu's or white belt and 5-8 dan or black belt. I have read the highest attainable rank is 8th dan and 9th dan was handed out by O Sensei to a few choice people more as a gift rather than a symbol any further achievment.  Unlike most other arts, No confusing colors here) Sensei addressed us quickly.  He asked who was planning on testing.  He told the one woman she SHOULD think about testing and he looked at me and shook his head, 'Not you, you haven't quite been around long enough yet.  In time.'  I knew this was no insult or slight at all.  I know I am nowhere close to prepared.  I did also find out that while there is only formal testing several times a year that on occasion tests will just happen as either a 'make-up' or when a student is ready they will test them outside the formal testing...as sensei put it, 'When they are ready.'

I feel as though I have a special connection with my fellow Gokyu aspirants.  We all have joined the dojo with in the past few months and are at varying stages of preparedness for testing, but all low-people on the totem pole.

While Moore Sensei addressed the , for lack of a btter term, upper classmen (wierd to use that word again) enmei sensei worked with us.  She took us all the way back to the very very basics of Aikido.  For this I was quite thankful.  I feel in not being able to take the Introduction to Aikido course on Saturdays that I missed some fundamental principles and have been struggling to play catch-up.  

I do not know how to spell much of what we learned and that is very sad in my mind.  I think I learned more in these two 1 hour classes than I have in my previous weeks combined.  Enmei took us quickly through the entire Gokyu requirement sheet.  At this point I felt as though I became a throwing dummy for the three or four of us who actually planned on testing.  I am quite okay with this.  One of my worst fears is impeding other students' progress though my own ineptitude.  I was happy to be an insturment in thier progress.  About halfway through the class I found myself kneeling and sitting seiza while observing refinements to a technique.  I looked up and Moore Sensei comes walking back, he looks at me, smiles, pulls his tanto from his obi and proceeds to stab in the belly, retracts his tanto, return is to his Obi and walks away. (Let me clarify the 'stabbing' part, he placed the tip of his tanto to my belly with very littel force, just enough so I knew it was there)  He then turns around comes back and repeats this scenario... I couldn't help but laugh.  Really???  Am I that bad I should just be stabbed?  LOL.  He then procedded to gently attempt to stab several other students while grinning and then returned to me.  This time I was ready and just tried to move out of the way... and then moved on.  I couldn't help myself... 'Ummm Sensei, its sooo not fair to stab the new guy.'  He responded with a laugh,'Yeah, its probably not good for the dojo and our numbers if I keep killling the students, huh?'  We laughed, I bowed and he moved back to the advanced students.  Now on a slightly more serious sidenote... I have to wonder, should I try to defend myself?  I mean, I had JUST learned a technique that would be appropriate to someone stabbing at my belly.  I think back to my days with Chuck Coyle... repeatedly he would after class walk at either Jake and I with his hand extended and fingertips pointed at our chest.  We tried to block, duck, redirect, counter attack etc, always to be thrown, locked, poked, prodded, and genrally forced to end up on our back going, 'What the hell just happened?'  On two seperate occasions Jake and I reacted the same way, we just stepped to the side and let him pass.  He smiled and simply said,'Yes.'

Ya know, its moments like that that make me really love learning from Moore Sensei.  While he knows and expresses readily the gravity of that which we do and learn, he also has a sense of humor too.  One day I will ask him more about that... but I think I need to advance some more before I do.   I have noticed, he DOES have a few students he will 'mess' with on occasion, including Enmei Sensei.  I have seen him demonstrate techniques and break inside her defenses and land a bit of a stinging shot to her abs... repeatedly... with a grin.  I think its the grin that disturbs me most.

At one point Enmei sensei made me laugh when she looked at me and said, 'I am going to teach you like I teach my children's class... first you open the gate and strep through the gate 
then close the gate.'

The first session for the night ended fairly abruptly.  We bowed out and all got water, etc.  Now it was time for weapons.  I was not sure if I shold stick for weapons this time around since I knew eveyrone was reviewing.  I asked Enmei sensei if I could stay she smiled and said,'YES! Of course, in fact, you SHOULD stay because you are tested with weapons from the very beginning.'  OH!!!  Okay.  Cool.  We bowed in and Enmei told most of the class to review and pulled the 5 kyu over to the side again.  She adressed each of us by name, except she looked at me... 'Wait, Dusty?' 'Dustin, but call me as you wish.' 'Dustin. Dustin?  Meh, I make up my own names for people Dusty.'  *sigh* Ya know, I really can't fight her on that one.  She is Sensei... good lord I hate being called Dusty.  Oh well, I'll take it as a term of endearment.


We were instructed to put our Jo behind us and to retain our Bokuto.  For some reason I remember this lesson VERY well.

She said basically she was going to run us through a practice test so we know exactly what to exepect.  I will not go into the details for now as I will want to recount that for when I DO actuallly get to test for the first time.


The lessons I do remember very specifically.  How to approach holding your sword.  You hold it as though it was still in the saya at your left side, with your left hand.  You draw straight with your right and then place your left hand on what we know in western swordplay as the pommel.  The first position is Right foot forwardtip of the sword slightly raised at chest height..  Second Position is right foot back sword above the head cocked back, left hand above the crown of your head.  Third position is the same as second but over the right shoulder, sword almost straight up almost as if resting the sword on your shoulder.  Fourth position drops the point the the ground behind you in sort of a 'hidden' stance.  Fifth is in front of you like First but the point is lower, pointed to the knee.  We also Shomanuchi strike.  First position back to second position move down to fifth.  Basically I straight down cut over the head.


We moved to other basics.  Front Breakfall, Back Breakfall, Front Roll, Back Roll, Straight Punch, Shomanuchi Strike (same as sword but with the hand), and a diagonal chop to the neck or face.  The we touched again the 4 basica movements, and the 8 or so techniques one needs for gokyu... WOW... I am so not ready.


For most of this session I was working with another Gokyu hopeful named Ben.  Ben is a big man much like myself and for the first time in the school, I have found someone with bigger wrists than myself.  I actually had a touch of trouble holding onto his wrist for some techniques.  Ben is very eager to help me understand the things he does.  Again though I was having trouble holding onto him for cetain techniques.  He tried to explain I need to hold on for dear life...  I did as best I could, but was till having trouble.  I was also struggling with this notion because it goes against some of the things I was toaught in previous classes about relaxing muscles and not using too much energy needlessly... This is when Matt approached.  Matt is one of the people I have the most respect for in the dojo.  He is always calm, has a smile, and has perfect form... and is a good teacher even of the simple things.  He worked just one technique with me, the same one as Ben to be honest.  He stopped me part way through the technique and said, 'You broke contact. Why?'  Well I can't quite hang on.  I grabbed a bit tighter, he then reminded me to not be so stiff and use so much energy...  Grrrrr... I think he sensed my frustration.  He stopped me for a brief moment and took me VERY slowly through the Uke side of the technique and showed me precisely where I broke contact.  I then gabbed tighter.  He shook his head and showed me that I need to change my level to maintain contact.  Grabbing harder was not the same as retaining contact.  There were little subtleties he showed me that I don't know that I can transmit to text as I don't have to proper words.  Lowering my level was a part of it, but there is a subtle pressure you keep moving towards your opponent that can only really be felt.  I think this contact, pressure, and movement are a key to Aikido in a way... I think this is where the harmony with one's opponent comes from or starts at.  I have so much to learn. 


Finally class finished.  I will tell you... I was DEAD tired.  Actually I was exhausted to the point i actually felt sick to my stomach and once I stepped away and off the mat, I was disoriented and having trouble standing up straight.  The funny part is... I feel freaking GREAT!!!

Yeah, I'm gonna sleep like the dead tonight, no doubt about that.

So quickly a few reflections on what I recall of what I learned tonight:

I am not ready to Test.
Moore Sensei has a very dark sense of humor.
Keeping contact is not the same as holding tighter.
There are subtle pressures involved in Aikido that I am only beginning to become aware of and still have no actual understanding of.


Well until next time...


'D'

Day 8: Too much time out of the dojo equals Dizzy 'D' and a Spinny Head

Okay.. So I haven't been to the dojo for FAR too long.  The first week, I decided against going because my allergies were KILLING me.(This allergy season was worst than I have felt in 10 years or more.)  I figured the other students would appreciate me not sneezing on them and dripping Dustin goo all over the place. The second week, I came down with a nasty cold that had me sneezing, coughing, wheezing, watery eyes, and again I figured everyone would appreciate me not spreading my germs around.  After that well a combination of things happened. Partially I have only myself to blame, but I also was working a VERY intense schedule and it seemed every time I anted to get to the dojo I would get held up at work just late enough to be extremely late or miss class completely.  VERY frustrating... I did email Enmei Sensei and apologized for my absense.  She told me to just come in when I could and they would be excited to have me back in class.  

I arrived at class just barely with enough time to make it onto the mat for warmups. One of the few things I can remember clearly about this class was that there were FAR more students in the room than I had previously seen.  To the point i could not find a spot on the mat.  One word from Sensei and suddenly a spot appeared.  Warmups were REALLY rough for me this time around.  At one point one of the other students turned and asked if I was okay.  I assured her that I was, just a bit more out of shape than I wanted to be.  We got to rolls and Enmei actually stopped me and asked before I rolled the first time. 'Are you okay with rolls?'  Yes ma'am.  No problems there.  Enmei sensei was the sole teacher tonight.  She reminded us that testing was coming this weekend so tonight we would review as much as possible and she asked the senior students to help the lower ranks out as much as possible.

When we broke off Enmei Sensei asked the lower ranks to move off to the left side of the room and work together.  At this point I had the privlege of meeting a new black belt I had not seen before.  His name was Jason.  Now Jason is a fairly wide and short man of ebony skin, a bright smile, and exudes a peace and calmness that I have felt from very few people i have ever met in my life.  One cannot help but release the trials of the day by shaking his hand.  We worked a fairly simple technique and I noticed something about our shodan and above, for the most part they all have an unusally gentle touch.  Jason being the prime example of this.  If you had to plot the pressure and spped of his technique on a graph it would resemble a parabola.  Start very soft and slow, speed up with some intensity and as we move into the part of the technique that would hurt he gently applies pressure until you can feel it.  Also of note as you tap out and he released the technique as slowly as he applied it so there is NO real strain or shock at all.  I actually thought to myself, getting tossed by this guy is actually quite pleasent.

The next section of class I spent working with Rich.  We were trying a technique I had not yet seen before.  I think I was pushing myself a littel harder than I was previously because I was gasping harder than I had previously in classes.  At one point I had to take a knee because I found myself quite dizzy.  This is one of those classes that I am not too sure I retained too much from.  One thing is that we moved VERY quickly and secondly, we used movements I was completely unfamiliar with so I spent more time confused and trying to figure out which way to turn rather than actually learning.  I know one lesson I think i will remember for the rest of my life was given to me by Rich.  I was gasping for air he told me to sit seiza, and squeeze both of my thumbs inside my fist.  While doing this to check in with my shoulders and make sure they weere relaxed.  I am nothing short of amazed out how well this technique works.  I think one of the biggest pitfalls I face is when I am short of breathe is that my muscles around my ribcage contract and then my shoulders tense up and exaserbate the problem.  I think partially this is a function of my asthma as this happens during a bad allergy and asthma attack too.

For now the only reflection I can offer fro this clas are the Squeezing Thumbs technique of regaining breath.
Our Black Belts understand something about gentleness that I can only hope to over time.
And that I really need to not spend 4 weeks out of the dojo or not working out EVER again.

There is one particular side not to this traning day that i think i should mention. Besides the cursory sore muscles and stiff joints from a good workout,  I woke up the next morning breathing easier and clearer than I have in years.  No sniffles, no tight chest, no wheezing, no coughing... interesting.  I suppose the training is having positive effects... there are a couple other factors at play I am sure considering my breaking of old habits, but for now I will contribute it to more training and learning to breath better.  Next class I will get to will get to will be Wednesday.  I am UBER excited.  

'D'     

Aikido Day 6: Contrary to popular belief, Dustin's head is NOT a basketball.

I must apoligze for this particular entry.  I had set aside the post to recap things and realized after weeks of allergies, sickness, and work schedules that I have not finished it... nor been to class in far too long.  

I wore my new gi for the first time... VERY cool.  It took me a while to remember how to tie a belt.  I will admit I did look it up on youtube for a quick reference and learned that a good belt 'knot' is not a knot at all but more of a complex folding pattern.  This makes A LOT of sense considering when one falls on thier front-side, the LAST thing they want is to fall onto a knot in thier belly.  Think of falling on your keys, center it in your belly and then add the force of someone throwing you... OUCH!!!! 

I do remember having my head bounced off the mats more than once by one of the students.  He was chided by Sensei a bit, which I felt awful for.  'SLOW DOWN!!! He is still working on his rolls bare that in mind.'  We were working on a technique designed to defend against someone bum rushing you.  You step out of the way and push the head down as the pass by.  Another version of this is to turn the head nd set it on your shoulder as you drop your level down.  This is so far one of the more lethal techniques we've been shown since it obviously will break someone's neck if done 'imporperly' or properly, I guess depending on perspective and intent.  After 4 weeks though, I can barely remember much more about the class currently.



I know during warmups, I felt less dizzy... nothing esle stands out in my mind currently.  I may come back to this later if I can remember further details.


'D'